Perip DeeDee Pfeiffer
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Hi, babes. Listen up. You landed here at the Peripeteia podcast, and I'm so glad to have you enjoy these real girl talk conversations about the things that matter. From the ordinary to the extraordinary, and every plot twist in between, I welcome you. Life has a way of throwing us curveballs, and these are the stories of female resilience while navigating change with newfound purpose.
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Welcome everybody. I am so, so excited. I have Dedee Pfeiffer on today. She is an award winning film and television actor, producer, and global influencer. Most recently, she was , a series regular as Denise Brisbane on ABC's Big Sky. But Dedee's career has included numerous appearances on television and film, as well as producing and acting in her own award winning short films.
She starred opposite Grace Jones in the horror cult classic Comedy Vamp. Dedee played Cybill Shepard's daughter, Rachel, as a series regular in Cybill, which won numerous awards such as Primetime Emmys and Golden Globes, including Best Television Series Musical or Comedy. Dedee has guest starred in some of the most iconic series on television, including Seinfeld, Friends, both CSI series and ER, What I love about Dedee is basically everything, but mostly I invited her to come on this podcast before this podcast even aired, and she immediately said yes.
Dedee has a master's of social work, and after addressing her own addiction, she is now passionate about recovering out loud in the hopes of sharing help with others. She has her own podcast, Down with Dedee, which is on a little hiatus right now getting a facelift. . I met Dedee through Instagram and recovery, I guess, somehow got connected and loved your energy.
Dedee, I didn't know you had a master's in social work, and I, also have a degree in social work, so no wonder that makes sense to me now. I love how out loud you are, and especially as a celebrity, somebody who's in the public eye, for you to share your story so openly, it matters. It really makes a difference.
So thank you. Thank you for doing that. Will you share a bit about your personal recovery journey and we'll, we'll get into it here.
[00:03:36] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah, man. It's, you know, it's a journey, isn't it?
[00:03:41] Heather Lowe: Continued, ongoing. Yes, of course.
[00:03:43] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah. It's like anything you work on it, if, if you, if it means anything to you, right, right.
Absolutely. And, uh, living, being alive and authentic and healthy is, um, huge. And I think more, and a big part of that is making sure that I spread anything that I have learned, spread that to others, because I call them little golden nuggets, little zingers that along the way you hear, or you see, you go, Oh, I like that.
And you grab it and put it in your toolbox. It might help you through a time, you know, time of your life where, that can, you know, help get you through those really tough times because it's the challenge in life are not the easy time so, um, I hope that being on this podcast, somebody listening to it, it helps them through a bump in the road at the very minimal, right?
[00:04:27] Heather Lowe: Yes. Thank you so much. Yeah. So it's cool because when I asked you what topic you would want. Um, yeah. You said it like gave me goosebumps immediately. I was like, okay, thank you. We're going into it. We're not going to stay surface level. We're actually going to do a dive and you're going to share. You're not going to be an actress at all.
You're going to share something very real with us. And I appreciate that. You said how you went from identified problem to identified solution. And I think you credited your therapist for some of that. So I would love to know that. Tell us about where you were at when you were identifying your problem?
[00:05:08] Dedee Pheiffer: Well, you know, I went to, I was very lucky to go to a, um, a rehab. By the way, there are a lot of really good rehabs and there's a lot of ways in which one can get sober or lean in or, or deal with their addiction, whatever their DOC, their drug of choice is, and it doesn't have to be alcohol. It can be drugs and it can be sex, it can be gambling.
There's a lot of, you know, addictions, but however one comes to that conclusion where they decided that whatever it is that they're using to a point where their life, it's. damaging or affecting their life in a negative way. That's at that point. And that's different for everybody is when they decide, I want to change.
Like , I don't want this anymore. Right. So one would call it your bottom. Not everyone has a bottom. My answer was, which bottom?
[00:05:50] Heather Lowe: Yeah. And I'm like, I tried to ignore personally, I tried to ignore that for as long as possible. Like, could you see that it was affecting you, but you didn't want to address it just yet or ever?
[00:06:02] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah, I mean, listen, when you're at, when your addict is in control of your authentic self, which is what's going on, if you think about it. When your addict is in charge. They all poor little authentic self is buried in there. And when that authentic self tries to come out to say, Hey, wait a minute, I'm better than this.
I don't need this. I'm tired of feeling like shit. I'm tired of disappointing myself and other people. And somehow that addict goes, no, no, no, we're fine. Well, you know, yeah, let's go have a drink and think and talk about that. Yeah. You're right back into it. And it talks right out of leaning into the most uncomfortable things, which.
Could be some of the reasons why you're using, right? So I think that what happens is when I was in rehab, I was very, very lucky. Kathleen Murphy, she ran the clinic and still does, um, Breathe: a life healing center, in Los Angeles, an amazing woman, and I have to give her and also my sober coach and, uh, the therapist there and my family and my boys and everyone around my sober community, all I have to thank everyone for helping me.
Because everyone played a part, whether they knew it or not. But Kathleen would come up with what I call these zingers that just went *boing* and the one that really hit me on a day where I was really struggling with my sobriety, because you know, you have good days. And then there's other days where you're like, what the hell am I doing?
she said, here's the deal. When you're active in your disease, you are the identified problem that's in your family, or your community. Or your life you are the identified problem whether you think you're hiding it or not You know in your heart and others around you may not be saying it, but they know The day you decide to say I don't want this anymore.
I'm going to make a change I don't know how to do it But i'm gonna reach out to an aa meeting or i'm gonna talk to someone sober or i'm just gonna say i'm not gonna drink Today, whatever it is. However, it gets you to say i'm done with that I want to turn over a new leaf and start a new a new trajectory of my life In that moment is when you become the identified possibility is what she said.
And I went, I'm sorry, can you repeat that? That just went boink right to my soul. And it's true. Because I I'm gonna get teary-eyed. When you're active in your disease, you don't like yourself very well, do you? I don't know anybody who's using their drug of choice, whatever it is, and say, Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I love myself.
I love my life. I'm great. And if they are, you know, they're really lying. Because one day when they get, when they actually, like I said, allow the authentic self to talk and have a voice. They would say, no, I was slowly dying inside.
[00:08:34] Heather Lowe: Yeah.
[00:08:34] Dedee Pheiffer: I was slowly dying, but I didn't know how to say help. I don't know how to stop.
I'm embarrassed because there's still social stigma. There's still all this crap around asking for help as if it's a weak thing. When at the end of the day, asking for help is one of the biggest, I'm sorry, you've got some big huevos when you can say, excuse me, I cannot do this by myself. I need a little help, or maybe a lot of help, I don't know, but, because if you could do it yourself, you would stop, and you, we call that a normie, you wouldn't be, you wouldn't have any, right, you wouldn't be, I know people, a lot of people don't like titles, and that's okay, so let's not use the word, you're an addict, that's fine, because it's pretty harsh, it has a lot of social stigma around it, you have an issue with something that's not adding to your life, but taking away.
And sometimes we need a little help to show us the way how to do it differently,
And so language is important, words are really important. So when she said that, I went, Oh my God, that's so me and so many of us. And she said, you're the, you went from identified problem to identified possibility in that moment you decided because now you're not only going to live a life worth living because every day now has different meaning.
Are you going to change the past? No, we can't do that, can we? But you can certainly change the now. And every moment you choose this path is another moment you get stronger. Work on, I don't like to say self love. Because I think usually those of us with addiction issues go from self loathing or hating to go from self hate to self love.
Is all or nothing thinking, and zero to ten is really a big pill to swallow, no pun intended. So I always like to say, you work on baby likes. Work on little baby likes. What did you like today? A little one that you did, that you liked. Oh, I opened the door for an older man who had a wheelchair and he seemed really grateful that I did that.
Did you like that? Yeah? Okay, put that on there. And eventually all the baby likes, as you're in recovery, Turn one day, hopefully we'll turn into self love, sure, but it's a process like anything else. And I think you don't want to set yourself up for failure because I'm going to tell you right now I just turned six years sober.
Do I self love myself? No.
[00:10:55] Heather Lowe: Congratulations.
[00:10:56] Dedee Pheiffer: I was in the hospital recovering from a hip surgery because the drugs they gave me I had a reaction because I was sober. Don't even give me a start on that. I said to the nurse, I'm six years sober. She's like, oh honey, that's great. I'm like bawling. Oh, but um, you know, it's fantastic.
But I was like, I'm sober. This is like, okay, of course my body's like, no, I don't like all that stuff you're putting in it. So it's every day that you choose. To lean into or deal with or get through those tough times to change to make that change the day that you're showing other people that it's possible.
That's what makes you identified possibility. Are you doing it perfect? No. Is there such a thing as a perfect program or a perfect recovery journey? No. Is life perfect? No. So why would your recovery be any different? Gotta take those bumps, baby, just like any other person takes bumps, whether it's just because life is kind of bumpy or freaking recovery is bumpy.
You know, so you kind of have to take off those rose glasses. You have good days and some really hard days, but man, when you get to those hard days, those huevos get thicker and bigger and heavier and you start throwing them over your shoulder. You're like, yeah, look what I did. Cause I'm telling you some days it's just not using is that's it.
That, that's called showing up. My friends would say, I'm like, I'm having such a hard time, especially the first year. First year was really tough. You have those hard days and they go, did you show up? I'm like, what are you talking about? Did you show up? What does that mean? Talk to me. What do you mean? Did you use today?
No. And they go like, you're on. You're good. You're fine. You're more than fine. Cause you showed up for yourself. You didn't use. And sometimes that is more than enough. Try again tomorrow, do the meditation. Try again tomorrow to exercise. Try again tomorrow, not eat so much chocolate or, you know, smoke your cigarettes or whatever.
Tomorrow's another day, but today you didn't use. So you showed up, right? So that's being the identified possibility. Here's what I love about it. You don't know it, but in your family dynamic, in your community, you're also showing other people who may not have an addiction issue or whatever, that they could change too.
There's probably something going on in their life. Maybe they have a love addiction. Maybe they're in a toxic relationship. Maybe they're having body issues, you know, and by the way, when you say shit things about your body, your body's listening. Your body's listening. Be careful what you say about your body.
I get to watch that shit all the time, but you show them, I don't know what's going on with you, but I bet you, you could lean into it. And I bet you, you could also wake up one day and say, I don't want to do this anymore, either, whatever that is. Stop using something that's so powerful, right? That has made women leave their babies at drug dealers' homes.
Something so powerful that women, men, and they have lost everything because of the drug of choice or whatever. To be able to, even for one day, Say not today, Felicia, is one badass tough person that I think is about as far away from weak as possible. How is that a weak person, yet we view asking for help as weak, right?
identified possibility. And that's my pitch on trying to change something in your life.
[00:14:13] Heather Lowe: Absolutely sold. I love that so much. Thank you for sharing. I feel like there's so much hope in that because we are often very stuck in our problem. Every finger pointing at us and we know it, including our own. And we're our own worst critic.
Of course, take us back to where you were. When you were at that point in your life, when you identified the problem, you felt like the problem in your family and yourself and your community. And what got you to take the step to ask for help?
[00:14:46] Dedee Pheiffer: Well, I think that the question sounds like when, where was my bottom?
Or when did that happen? You know, I think, honestly, there were so many bottoms. And having had some of the trauma I've had in my past, being an actor, I'm certainly an I'm the crazy Pfeiffer. The whole thing. There's a lot of reasons why people can write it off. Well, she's divorced. Are the other Pfeiffer's that crazy?
No, I'm the only one. No, we us Michelle and then me and Lori. But my two sisters, no. Well, no, I'm, no, I'm the outlier.
[00:15:20] Heather Lowe: Did you feel like the outlier growing up?
[00:15:22] Dedee Pheiffer: Oh yeah.
[00:15:24] Heather Lowe: What, a little more loud, a little more out there than sisters?
[00:15:28] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah, and I felt different than everyone else. I behaved differently than everyone else. I, my thoughts were different. And it's interesting because, you know, I come, I come from a generation, I was born in 1964, I'm 60, so I was born in generation where everyone's trying to fit you into the spectrum of average, the normal, you know, whatever that is for every society.
Why can't you be like, dot, dot, dot. Even in my acting career, they were trying to get me to be more like those actresses who are already successful. And I remember, thank God I had some really. Eventually, eventually I beat myself up because I just, it wasn't that, and I kept feeling like they wanted me to be an imposter, you know, although an actor is kind of an imposter, it was a different kind of imposter.
You know, it was like, I'm an actor, I'm a character actor, but who I am as a person shouldn't have anything to do with whether or not I can nail this role or not, but it did matter back then. It really did. This is what people who say, "we're of the LGBT community," did not say that out loud. And there's still some right now from my generation that will not let that out.
Because that will kill their romantic lead "future," you know, blah, blah, blah. Also, there's just, we were told to be skinny, you had to have thick hair, you know, um, just it was, it went on and on and on. There were a lot of rules, you know. So one of them for me was to try to put me in a box, and thank God I said eventually that I had, uh, this one acting coach in particular, Roy London, who said, honey, no, no, don't let him, no.
What you're selling is something totally different. I don't give two shits about your sister or all the other blonde actresses in Hollywood. What you're doing is very different. You've got to earn it. You've got to, I mean, you've got to own it. Yeah. And hone in on it. And when you walk in, you tear that script down, you give them your version of this character.
It may not be anything that they're thinking, but they're going to go, "Holy shit. I don't know what that was, but I kind of liked it." We could, you know, it's kind of how I got roles. Wasn't like to go down the middle. But it was because I could give you a completely different version. Everyone else is coming in, giving you the version of what they think you want and what you wrote.
I, because of the way I think, I was like, Oh, I saw this and that. And the writer said, I didn't even see that. And I wrote the damn role, you know, and so I scored roles that way. I also lost a lot of roles, but that's okay. I mean, I can do down the middle roles. Beige roles. They don't excite me.
[00:17:42] Heather Lowe: That is your superpower that you're not beige though.
I would say attract and repel. I mean, that is more no. So I can say yes to the yeses. Right.
[00:17:52] Dedee Pheiffer: Well, yeah. And I'm kind of the, I'm not a competitive actor or woman for that matter. So I'm like, please let's another actress who is much better at playing those roles than I am play that role. Like, cause you're just going to torture me.
You know, I'm not even sure I'm going to end up giving you what you really want anyways. Um, so let's just move past Ms. Pfeiffer over here, the other Pfeiffer, and go get the other actress who can, you know, do that. And same thing, the opposite. If you're trying to take beige and make her purple and a rainbow, and you're torturing her, why don't you just want to hire me?
That's what I do.
[00:18:25] Heather Lowe: So I'm hearing know thyself. And maybe something that in your childhood, and even in your acting career, you were trying to fit in somewhere to be something you thought you were supposed to be. The truth is you had to let yourself be you.
[00:18:40] Dedee Pheiffer: You know, but again, it took me to get sober.
[00:18:42] Heather Lowe: Yeah.
[00:18:43] Dedee Pheiffer: To look back and reflect that I never fit in and that was okay, but I was never told it was okay. I thought differently than other people. I was never told that's okay, you know, and there was no, I was never given permission until I was older. And at that point the damage is done, classic conditioning, the whole like, you know, self image was just ruined.
I was always not enough, blah, blah, blah, blah. And people said, oh, well, I would, You know, I'd feel that way too if I was Michelle Pfeiffer's sister. I'm like, you know who you're just talking about? She's like my best friend. I love her. We are not competitive. I've got another sister, Lori, who's even, she's just gorgeous as shell, but she's the brunette version.
It's like Jesus. I got one, a blonde blue eyed over here and a brunette over here with brown eyes. Gorgeous, both of them. And we're not competitive. We were never raised that way. You know, but, and we're solidly close
, but you know, so the thing is, is that they're like, well, no wonder she's Dedee's dot, dot, dot. If I was Shell's sister, Michelle's sister, that's just such a stupid thing to say, and it's an ignorant thing to say, and it's not true. And there's no, and they're like, oh, that's not, that's not fun. We, they want the smut, the dirt.
It's like, what do you, what do you, And I'm like, no, if you want that again, it's best to go somewhere else, go get a couple of the siblings who actually are squabbling. We're good. And again, my family was very instrumental in helping me with my recovery. Even though none of them have addiction issues,
[00:20:09] Heather Lowe: Did you willingly go to rehab? Did you know you need to rehab? Did you put yourself in rehab? Did your family and friends do an intervention? What was that like for you?
[00:20:19] Dedee Pheiffer: I think, um, I'd say I love that question because my story is a little different, um, I don't think it's that different from a lot of people, but at that point, you know, when you, well, have been drinking or using your DOC, drug of choice, whatever, for an amount of time. I mean, I had children and did not drink, right?
I breastfed and didn't drink. You know, I didn't, I didn't drink, uh, when I was going to UCLA to get my, my bachelor's or my, my master's. When I would work on any films and TV, I never drink, but that did not mean I was not knocking it back. you know, behind [the scenes]. So there's a, oh, well, she's not in the gutter, you know, drinking all day long.
She doesn't wake up with a beer. So she doesn't have an addiction that's old information that we still kind of have. So I was able to talk myself out of it, but there was no doubt. We all know, you know, in your heart, something's not right. You know, your drinking is different than other people's, you know, when you're thinking, why is he not?
Why is she not finishing that margarita or that glass of wine? Why am I thinking that? Why? Why? That girl doesn't even give two shits about leaving half a glass of wine on the table. And I'm like, Oh, no, I wouldn't. Maybe I should finish it for her. I mean, you're right. Or, Oh, I only drink one in front of my friends, but I have another bottle at home.
[00:21:37] Heather Lowe: Right.
It was the same for me. I was so over functioning, you know, perfectionist, high achieving in every way that I obviously drink too much. And then I woke up and made breakfast for everybody. And, um, I swept the floor after breaking my leg the night before. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Total denial. Yep,
[00:21:59] Dedee Pheiffer: I went
to school
[00:22:00] Heather Lowe: Very confusing.
Is this a problem or is it not? Because it's not that bad. We think it has to be that bad. Like our measurement for successes. Well, if it's not that bad, don't address it. Or if your friends say you're fine, just eat before you drink or just have a little less or like they're trying to protect you. Like maybe you were a little sloppy, but that's okay.
It was Friday night. You know, it's confusing. You didn't have an obvious fall from grace. You had a lot of little
setbacks.
[00:22:32] Dedee Pheiffer: It's a very tricky topic.
First of all, people are saying that are going off of old information, right? We still have a lot of old information that's out there that it needs to be rewritten and needs to be thrown out.
We now have new information. We now have new. of things to look at and they're, I think the high functioning alcoholic or high functioning addict is the one that really blows all the old information out. You know, my dad would say, who was again, you know, major. He taught me how to be a high functioning alcoholic, because he did, that's how he was, right?
He said, of course I drink, you know, look at your mom, you know, but that's that generation. You know, so, um, we're still carrying old information that needs to be rewritten. And so anytime you, me, or anybody comes out and does a podcast and says one thing that makes people go, Oh, okay. So it doesn't have to be in the gutter, lost everything to have a problem.
Damn straight. And also you don't have to , call yourself an addict too. Cause there's a new generation of people. I don't know if you know them. They're actually younger kids. I love it. They're like, we just don't drink. Right. Like, oh, so you have an issue, you have an addiction. Now they may or may not, but they're not going there.
They're like, we're choosing not to drink. It's a lifestyle that we're choosing. And please don't put the title on me. You know, I
don't like the way it makes me
feel. That's it. And I don't blame them because addict or alcoholic or drug addict or whatever. These are all very nasty terms. They're loaded because of stigma that still surrounds it.
And yet how many, we lost more people to addiction during the pandemic than we did the actual pandemic. Okay. And that's it. I'm not making that shit up. You know, I'm not somebody on a debate stage . Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, I just don't, you know, because I remember [social work] was my area of concentration in college.
So, of course, we had to look at the stats, but, um, but we don't want to talk about that because it's uncomfortable. We're also going up against a big, you know, the, the alcohol beverage, whatever committee, you know, it's like, there are certain big, like the pharmaceutical, you have big corporations, institutions, you know, that have power, They're not going to benefit from us knowing that , there's new information out there.
That's going to be really helpful for us. They can't make money off of that, you know what I mean? So also, you know, it's something else just to kind of, oh, so my, what happened was I was just years and years hiding and hiding and hiding and hiding and falling and hiding and you know, and then, and go a week without drinking and go, see, I have no problems.
It's just with all the roller coaster was pretty awful. So at a certain point, in the 2019, I think it was, , I was, um, first year of my master's program. UCLA getting my master's in social work at this point, it was about eight years to my eight years to get there. And, um, , I was, I knew I'd hit some kind of weird bottom or I was exhausted.
It's what it was. I was exhausted from hiding and I didn't know how to ask for help. At that point, uh, or if there were if if people were talking about it, I didn't hear it If you know, but I do remember watching tv at night and seeing an ad saying call this 800 number If you feel you might be issue a problem anonymously, you don't use your real name And I wrote it down and I put it next to my bed stand and I put the number there So I wanted to call so bad but think about it at that time Not a lot of celebrities had come out and if they had, I didn't know about it.
Um, and the thought of calling and saying, you know, I'm Dedee Pfeiffer, Michelle Pfeiffer's sister, and I need help was just, uh, scary as hell for me on a lot of levels, so it was that, I think it was that same week. One of my family members came up to me and said, I need to talk to you. And he said, we'd like to do an inter —this was Tuesday.
We'd like to do an intervention with you on Thursday. We'd like you to come. I look at this person and I started to cry and I said, you don't have to do that. That I said, you're not going to pull up with that weird car and all you guys write me a letter and then we're going to be on that cable show intervention.
I said, okay. I said, you don't have to do any of that. I will go. I will go anywhere, but please just take care of my children and my animals. I just signed do an independent film, literally the day before. I said, and I have this film, and, um, my family member said, you call your agent, you say you can't do it, you're getting surgery, whatever.
Just, you know, because again, at that time you don't, you couldn't say. Yeah. Now, if I, I can't remember the name of them, I'll tell them now, Hey, honey, I'm sorry. It was still so scary to disclose because it wasn't until I went there and I realized that and then that first year that it's okay to talk about it.
It's important to talk about it that I realized I was suffering because I couldn't talk about it. So it was kind of an intervention, but I. I always say I, I blocked them.
[00:27:33] Heather Lowe: You got there first.
[00:27:34] Dedee Pheiffer: And then they were like, they started crying going, Oh, you're kidding me. You're not going to fight us. Cause we thought for sure.
Well, because generally if you ever try to talk to somebody who's active in their disease, cause that's what it is. And they're not ready. You're going to get pushed back and you're probably told to F off. You're the problem. You think I have, you know, that's what you get when you mean somebody is not ready for help.
I was ready. I just didn't know how to ask. And when the family said, we will take care of your children and your animals. And then it was not three, four days later, I was gone. I was at 30 day lockdown, no phone, no computer didn't see anybody. First time I'd been away from my children for that long, --inpatient.
It was hard, but yet it was life changing. It was the beginning of my rebirth is what I call. And that's why every year I celebrate my recovery. Um, I always call it my rebirth-day. People call it their sober birthday. I call it my rebirth-day.
[00:28:29] Heather Lowe: I love it, Dedee. Thank you for sharing. I've got tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat because it's so beautiful.
First of all, I think you and I both, high functioning, also have a lot of privilege. So we weren't on the streets and we probably wouldn't have been on the streets. Right. My spouse didn't leave me. I didn't knowingly lose a job directly because of it. Right. Although I can't imagine how I was performing in some way that was going up in my career because it was an all boys club and I could drink along with them.
Um, yeah, so we there, I mean, due to just privilege in some ways, it, it made it. More complicated to see that there was a problem. There was more excuses and more coverups. And then for you, an added layer of celebrity status and anonymity and what this would mean for your career and a bigger audience of people.
I mean, it's hard for us to look at one person, just our sister or our spouse, but to have a whole audience, that was a lot to consider and so brave that you started to notice the signs and started to pay attention and that's like the beginning of any recovery process is to start to pay attention and I'm thinking you like me.
could find some, because you always felt a little different and like you didn't belong maybe, or like something was wrong with you maybe because you weren't like the others, that what an easy way to jump ship on yourself. Ignore, again, don't pay attention to yourself, ignore yourself, pour alcohol on it and go fit into those situations.
When your intuition is telling you this isn't right, this isn't for me, this isn't who I want to be. Perfect. Pour alcohol on that and go do it. Right?
[00:30:13] Dedee Pheiffer: Yep. And you know, it's interesting. It was wasn't until I went to rehab and then for a year straight, I went to AA. Now, that helped me. I'm not religious. So I did have issues with that.
But then, um, Kathleen was like, go into the big book and take all the word God, because I'm really having issues with it. Just go in there and just scratch out the word God. Who's your higher power? Who's, who's bigger than you, Dee? Are you this? Are you it? Are you the biggest, most powerful thing on Mother Earth?
And I said, well...
[00:30:40] Heather Lowe: I had geese in my yard.
[00:30:42] Dedee Pheiffer: Mother Earth is more powerful than me. The universe is far more powerful than me. She goes, that's your higher power. That's your God. So she goes, what do you call it? I go, mother earth. So I went into the big book and scratched out "God" and put mother earth, mother earth, or universe universe.
Yeah, because that to me that does not matter. Yeah, someone's religion is a personal journey for them. And if their God is their God, and that makes them a good person, I don't have a problem with that. And if it makes them an asshole, I don't have a problem with it. I just would rather you do that over there.
Because it's certainly not something that I'm, you know what I mean, that, um, I want to support. Because I don't think that, I don't think anyone's God was ever meant to make someone not the best they're supposed to be. Because I know a lot of religious people who are fantastic human beings, like beautiful.
And I gotta tell you, someone in recovery who has, already has a God, generally has an , easier time in recovery. Those of us who don't. Or had to discover one, um, have to do a twofer, you know, because it is really important whether you use AA or not, there's other programs, there's other ways to get sober, by the way.
You don't even, you know, like I said, you don't have to do that. I needed something once a day to go, cause I'm a. Capricorn and I'm like a goat and I'm like a hard head and there were times I'd go to AA and then come back even more like messed up in my head because somebody said something stupid or snarky or they were doing that little clicky thing and it was a Hollywood, you know,
AA
I'd just leave you more like pissy and my super coach would go, well, you got to go back now, don't you?
I'm like, God damn it. She doesn't know. She goes, no, don't go back to that one. Go, go in your app and go find another one. And I would, and then this. And then I would go again. So I'd go two times sometimes in some days until I left. Okay, that's, that's why I'm on this journey. Because, um, otherwise you just, you could set yourself up for failure if you're not careful.
If you're, you know, so, and also when ego gets in the way, you got to be really careful and mindful of all that. But that's what's so beautiful, I think about recovery, at least for me, is that it really, it helps me on a daily basis, um, strip away. continue to strip away all the elements of mankind that I don't find really helpful it comes to being a really amazing human being.
Ego is not part of that, you know, all that stuff. It's being kind to each other, you know. Yeah, it's a mother earth. I'm sorry. She just, she's, she blows my mind. So she, she helped me get sober for sure. And she's still like, I'm on her. I'm a stand on her every day and sit on her every day. She's beautiful.
[00:33:13] Heather Lowe: Yeah, I love it. That's so beautiful. And it's such a good point because the recovery journey, how we started with right the journey. It's not about ditching the drink. I mean, shout out to your sober coach. I would love to meet her and shout out to all sober coaches because it's effective. I get to witness that every day with my clients.
But for you, it was also, it solidified your relationship with a higher power.
[00:33:37] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah.
[00:33:38] Heather Lowe: Maybe something that what you had somewhat to begin with, but it was definitely strengthened, right?
[00:33:46] Dedee Pheiffer: I had spirituality when my friend Kenny was alive back in my best friend, Kenny. Um, , we met in the eighties anyways. And then early 90s it was, I lost him to AIDS when AIDS was taking everybody.
And that was a really tough one for me because he and I were searching for a deeper meaning in life. And we try to go beside a Swami Swahanda or a yogi. At the Lake Shrine in L. A. beautiful actually and so we went and tried to learn how to meditate. We were just always trying
[00:34:16] Heather Lowe: You were on a quest you're on a spiritual quest if you had a buddy to do that with.
[00:34:20] Dedee Pheiffer: Trudging buddy back then because he wasn't a drinker.
So I really never really drank with him. We smoked cigarettes, but you know, and then when I lost him, that was kind of, um, I never lost him still around me.
Um, I had a lot of losses at that time. A lot of people left their bodies at that time. So it was a very confusing time for me. And I didn't have religion. I didn't have a strong spirituality to fall back on. Nothing really made sense. And it was my dad passed away right in front of me. All of us were there when, when he left his body.
And it was at that moment, for some reason, in that moment in time where I went, wait a minute, wait a minute, where is he? Where is he? And it bothered me. I didn't know where he was. Now that you say, Oh, he's with God now, whatever. I'm like, no, he's with your God. He's not with my God. Cause I don't have that.
You know what I mean? So it's very careful. You say that you don't know who you're talking to and it could actually not be the most helpful thing when you say, well, that's a non answer for me. I'm not saying your religion is a non religion or not real cause of course it, Hey, listen, it is real. God, everyone's God is real.
To them. Absolutely. I'd never take that away as much as they can't take away the fact that my higher powers mother earth can't take that away from me. Good luck. Good luck. Right? Same thing.
[00:35:32] Heather Lowe: Yeah.
[00:35:33] Dedee Pheiffer: The thing is, is that I didn't know where he went and I kept losing people. It's a long story. A lot of loss in my life.
And so I can't, I couldn't find them. I couldn't, or I couldn't share where they went. And I lost my trudging buddy to continue on my journey in spirituality, makes sense of what life and death and spirits and soul and all that is right. Enlightenment and another word for all that. So I just tried finding the bottom of, a wine bottle, right.
And a bottle or martini glass, whatever. Um, numb it, numb it, numb it, push it down. Doesn't matter. Go on to the next day. Just kind of, you know, do that. So that eventually ran out. So Sobriety gave me the opportunity to go back without my buddy, but then I realized, you know, something Kenny's still with me.
[00:36:21] Heather Lowe: Yeah,
[00:36:22] Dedee Pheiffer: he is because I told him before he left because this is how we were I said to him dude, you need to uh, you need to uh, give me a sign when you get to the other side He's like my big brother.
He's crazy. Oh, I will mess you up He goes when you're walking down hollywood boulevard I will smack you in the back of the head and you'll turn around go Kenny stop it And no one will see me because i'll be all like spirit and then people think you're crazy I said double dog dare you I don't care if they think i'm crazy.
I need to know you're okay I need that That somehow you're okay. And he has given me more than a few. And people think I'm crazy and I don't care. Yeah. And I've had a lot of spiritual people telling me, whoa. Oh my God. That's how I have a new hip. My friend, Kimberly Meredith, she's a medical intuitive, never met me before on her podcast said there's a big.
There's some large energy around you and it's telling me that you need to get your , right hip looked at. And I was like, Oh, that's interesting. My right hip is constantly bugging me when I play pickleball. Constantly bugging me for a long time. I'm like, Oh, it's fine. I'm just getting old. Oh, it's fine.
I'm just getting old. Later I went and they said, Honey, you're bone on bone osteoarthritis. You don't got anything left there. You need a whole new hip. That had to have been Kenny. Oh, yeah. Always looked over me like that and he also messed with her video, audio, because yeah, she said this has never happened to her before.
I said, that's Kenny. He's always messing around with me. So she did a lot of things happen in the podcast with me that never happened before. I said, that's my friend.
[00:37:57] Heather Lowe: I love it. Well, because when you. When you live a sober life, you are in touch with your intuition. Again, it's paying attention. It's noticing the signs.
Maybe they were there or not. Maybe Kenny had always been screaming at you and maybe you saw some of them, but I bet you are in tune to see more of them because you have the clarity. You have the attention, you're not ignoring, denying yourself. So you can be at one and losing people, people leaving their bodies.
I like how you said that, actually, that has been a huge part of my journey too, and grief and loss and the whole thing, but we can recover even from that, right? We can reprocess and have a new understanding. And some of your suffering with Kenny was you didn't, Have a way in your own mind to comfort yourself about where he was.
[00:38:45] Dedee Pheiffer: And yeah, drinking just kept me so far away from my spirituality, my enlightenment, the stuff that makes us, well, souls, we have a soul with an earth body.
[00:38:57] Heather Lowe: Yeah, we're not these bodies anyways, really.
[00:38:59] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah, it's not. Yeah, they're there. Yeah. So, , also, I think what I really love about sobriety, and again, it came from Kathleen, and I do this a lot in my, if someone has watched me before, they're going to go, Oh, here she goes again.
But I just love to repeat this. It's one of those zingers that like, she said, you can go through life. I gave it a visual, she gave it a, you know, verbal, she said, you can go through life. Um, resisting or, or curious when you're active in your disease, you're very resistant over a lot of things. Cause it's just exhausting to be hiding when you're active in your disease.
Cause that's what you're doing. You're hiding and it's exhausting, but when you finally step into recovery, you have the opportunity to be curious. And here's what resistance looks like. This is resistance. Here's curiosity.
[00:39:48] Heather Lowe: Oh, look at that. A hand up, like, stop, for anyone without the visual, the hand up, like, stop, talk to the hand.
Talk to the hand. An open palm. Open your hand,
[00:39:57] Dedee Pheiffer: look over it, and look at, look at the view. Curiosity says, oh, look at all the stuff. Doesn't mean you have to believe it, swallow it, live it, but just be curious about it. And this is where we can also , learn to live with each other and our differences.
I, you and I probably don't have the same politics. I don't know, but that's okay. It's that's I bet we do Yeah You know, but it's like you do you i'm gonna stay in my lane now That's a touchy one. I know well because it's it's become a personal thing now, especially women The thing is, is that, you know, you, there is such strength in, in working on the depths of, uh, your, , enlightenment.
It's the only thing I can call it. It becomes less superficial. I say, ignore the noise. The dizzy because they keep you dizzy and busy, right? That's why being drunk and being using it keeps a lot of people in business. Big business relapse, by the way, busy and busy. Look what happens when you stop that you come in together and you're right here with your authentic self.
You're clear, you're quiet, and you can make decision choices that make sense. You may have tears behind it. I don't know what's going to come up, but I promise you you're not going to die from the feelings that come up. You're going to die from your addiction eventually for sure, but you're not going to die by allowing those feelings to come up that may have been pushed down for all those years.
And you know, they never tell you that. You feel like you're going to fucking die. You feel like those feelings come up whether a lot of stuff comes up often when you get sober. a lot. Oh, one week I cried every day. I, it was, oh wow. In rehab, it was a week straight. I couldn't stop crying. All this stuff was coming out of me that I'd shoved down, shoved down, shoved down for so many years.
It came out of me like I was, it was like throwing up, uh, crying, like just, and I'd never been more exhausted in my life. And I kind of felt, I'd never felt more vulnerable afterwards.
But it felt
like literally something dark and just not working for me came out of the tears, came out of my body when I was curled up in a ball on the ground going, I hate this.
You know, not even withdrawing from alcohol had nothing to do with that. It was withdrawing from pushing down all the pain for so many years saying, doesn't hurt.
[00:42:17] Heather Lowe: Yeah. Oh, I still crack open all the time. I just cracked open last Sunday after a weekend of connection because something I've been , avoiding, you know, and ignoring because I'm still human, right, was knocking on the door and I finally heard it.
And, but I think in recovery. You recognize you're paying attention so you can recognize it faster. You can address it faster. You can process it to feel it to heal it, right? There's there's not a workaround, unfortunately, but the pain is there, but the suffering is optional. And the, the stuffing is the suffering, right?
[00:42:56] Dedee Pheiffer: There's, there's a thing. Suffering is optional.
[00:42:59] Heather Lowe: Yeah.
So when we, and we're not afraid, we're less afraid when we're sober, because we know we can take care of ourselves even through the pain, even the worst pain of our loved ones, leaving their bodies. We can, we learn to take care of ourselves even through that.
[00:43:14] Dedee Pheiffer: It can be a painful and, and bumpy journey in recovery. It's also, you're going to have some of those amazing. Moments in your life in recovery, but you're also gonna have some fucking tough days, but like I keep going back to that's life Yeah. I mean, so if you're looking to, if you want to get sober or in recovery, cause you want a perfect life, good luck with that.
If I can tell you right now, whatever you're doing right now, ain't perfect either. So you might as well try the other one. Cause I'm telling you all of us over here, the waters are good. The waters are great. And the opportunities that will open up to you are endless. Like, my whole. journey in spirituality enlightenment has led me to become more of like so for instance more aware of like What even just like the stuff I buy the plastic I buy the stuff the stuff the stuff on mother earth That's choking her all of a sudden now that's kind of bled into this Do we really need that or do we want that and you know what?
I mean? Are we yeah? Composting do what you know, I say and i'm teaching it to my boys. They see me go. Hmm Aluminum foil versus compostable we need a parchment paper. Hmm, you know Bamboo toilet paper versus
[00:44:22] Heather Lowe: More intentional choices everywhere around, right?
[00:44:25] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah, all of a sudden, because think about it, my higher power is the earth that we live on man.
And I don't know about you all, but I'm interested in taking care of not only my earth, but your earth as well, because she's my higher power. She's like my God. Right. And I don't know of anybody who'd want to shit on their God. I mean, that nobody, I mean, you may be at odds with your God, but I don't think you ever want to like go attack him and hurt him.
And so if your higher power, or these are all like catch words, so they can turn people off. If you know that there's something bigger than you. That keeps you humble and in, in my view, it keeps you more balanced in the world because together we're amazing as, as a species and we get in our own ways. Our thoughts get, we get in our, we can be our worst enemies and we can also be our best ally.
[00:45:17] Heather Lowe: Yeah. But I
[00:45:17] Dedee Pheiffer: know you're not your best if you're, uh, doing anything that's messing with the way you think about yourself and that doesn't mean I don't have days where I, I'm not happy with myself. I'm like, you know, Oh.
[00:45:29] Heather Lowe: When you compost or you make a different choice about what to buy, that's adding to your likes that you said in the beginning of, we got to add up the little likes, the little things we did that we're proud of, the things we're doing that we like about their self.
And I think that's a little pat on the Good job, me.
[00:45:46] Dedee Pheiffer: You know, when they say, oh, would you like a bag? I'm like, no, okay, I can carry it. Ma'am, you have eight things. I'm like, I used to be a cocktail waitress.
You know, I can carry five items, eight items. Or I'll put it back in the cart and drag it out, throw it into my backseat. And when I come home, I may have to take a couple or, you know what it is. Usually my bags are in my car. Cause I, you know, and I'm not going to get another bag. People are like, oh, well, I'm like, no, see, that's what you think.
Oh, well, I mean, it's kind of sad. I've seen people, one thing and yell, take a bag. I'm like, it's not like you have tampons. And by the way, it's okay to go out and be carrying a box of tampons. I'm sorry. The very thing that we need to plug is the very reason why we give, give birth - humanity..
[00:46:25] Heather Lowe: Normalize women having periods.
[00:46:27] Dedee Pheiffer: And people are like I don't want to be seen with tampons. What? But yeah, so, but it's a, but that's okay. Listen, some people are very humility and, and, and shy and older generation and there's old rules that we're still living, but that's okay. I would never condemn you, but so I go, I'm going to counter that guy who's got a bag for his pack of gum. Okay. That's fine.
You do you boo and I'm going to sit here with 20 groceries and I am not going to ask for a bag and the man is going to ask me three, ma'am, are you sure? I'm like, sir, I am good. I am more than good. I got bags in my car. I'm just too lazy to go out and get them. I'll throw the groceries in the bag and you're right.
And I'll drive home and go. That was a little embarrassing for me, but mother earth I know appreciates that I took one for the team.
[00:47:13] Heather Lowe: Right. I feel good about myself. This makes me feel good.
[00:47:16] Dedee Pheiffer: Everybody in line was probably going, can the bitch please just take a bag? It's bothering the cashier.
I don't know why it bothers her. It's my stuff. But you know, there's that weird, like everyone's looking at you kind of thing, you know, and I still get shy and embarrassed. I don't want to be like that person, especially with my sons. They're like, mom, do you really have to do this?
[00:47:35] Heather Lowe: It's our job as mom to embarrass our kids for sure.
There's no way around it. It actually, it leads into what I want to end with, because I know you've already given us so much time and I appreciate you and the hip needs. Ice and all the things the dogs and all the things you've taken time out to be with us. I wanted to end with that. Like you said, um, like you still get tired.
It's embarrassing with everyone looking at you in the grocery store, but let's talk about sobriety. Like, same, like, how did you get the guts? To come out sober, right? To start sharing your story, anything that you can do to encourage our listeners and let us know, because you're in a very high profile position to do that.
[00:48:21] Dedee Pheiffer: Well, thank you for that's very sweet. I think it's really important to understand and leave space. For the beginning of recovery, it is a time to be anonymous. It is a time to be quietly recovering, whatever that might look like.
[00:48:36] Heather Lowe: Tuck in. Yeah, you can tuck in with your, so go inward. It's okay to go inward.
[00:48:40] Dedee Pheiffer: it's a very vulnerable time at the beginning of recovery. And there is no, um, rhyme or reason why it takes some people longer or shorter to get to certain milestones in their recovery.
And everyone's journey is different because their biopsychosocial makeup is different. And you could be twins and your sobriety is going to look different. There'll be some similarities, I'm sure, maybe because of environment or what have you or biology. But the bottom line is it's important to appreciate and know that your journey is yours.
It's special to you. It's going to look different than everybody else's recovery. That's okay. Don't let anyone tell you what you're looking for in your recovery. Wait, are you showing up? Yeah, tell them to stay in their own lane.
[00:49:24] Heather Lowe: Yeah.
[00:49:24] Dedee Pheiffer: in the beginning, I was very, very mortified. And scared. And, I felt when I was in the actual rehab, cause again, it was like 30, 30 people locked down.
Right. And one of the things I noticed I wanted to also add earlier was what, when I realized when I went to rehab, this was crying all the whole time. I found my peace for the first time in my life, in my fifties. I didn't feel like an outcast. I was there with a lot of other people who are basically had stories worse than mine, who, you know, my story wasn't so special anymore.
They struggled with the same things I would say. They'd go, I never fit in. I'm like, what, what did you just say? And then everyone in the room's going, I'm never fit. Are you kidding me? I was, you know, and then there's one person, why fit in? But I. hated it, you know,
and yet I'm like wait a minute. So all of a sudden you're in, you're in this space in this community where they get you, like I got them, they got me and I didn't know their name. They didn't know who I was. They didn't care. They're in there trying to save their lives.
[00:50:29] Heather Lowe: They didn't know who your sister was.
[00:50:30] Dedee Pheiffer: They don't care when you're, they don't care who you are. They really, well, maybe some, I guess if you're like Lady Gaga and you went in there, I guess that would be kind of, you know, something. Um, but they, everyone was in there trying to save their lives. We, we, there was people as, uh, young as like 19 in there and as old as, I think seventies.
My rehab was very colorful. L-G-B-T-Q community in there, \ . We were a mishmash of people and from different states. And then there was me in there. And let me tell you, um, I can't tell you half their names right now. even though I spent 30 days with them, but I know that they were my people. They were, they were my people.
And I would have gone to the ends of earth for them then. And now, because what we went through together was we were in there all trying to save our asses, We're trying to save our lives. And when you go in and you start telling, like you said, these stories that even you had forgotten about, and they just come out of you while bawling and screaming and you're on the floor and people around you don't even know you hold you or say, do you need a hug right now?
Or. I don't know you, but I get you. You're just like, wow, thank you. And so there's that moment where you're like, I only want to be around people who are in recovery. Normies don't, no normies will never get me. I just want to be around people like me now because there was safety in that. And the AA meetings, even though I wasn't religious, were safe, you know, and anybody who was in recovery, I'd meet somebody on the set and they'd be like, Hey, I got 30 years, I'm like, Oh, and we just hug, you know, just because that common denominator is profound.
So, but in the beginning, I wouldn't even stand up in the AA meeting, and they say anybody with one day stand up, anybody with one week stand up. And there was that whole thing. And you'd stand up and say, hi, I'm, um, John and I'm an alcoholic or whatever, or I'm a, you know, a drug addict or whatever, you know, or I'm a sex addict, I'm a gambling addict, whatever.
for the first probably, I don't know, two weeks, I couldn't stand up and people in the room, my rehab, we would go off campus to go to AA meetings and they would look over at me like, she's not standing up, she's not standing up. And I would sit there and look down at my feet. And then somebody from my rehab looked over and grabbed my arm and said, it's okay, you'll stand up when you're ready.
And I almost felt like I was going to throw up. Every time I went to, to try to stand up in front of this room full of a hundred people or 50 or whatever AA meeting it was and go, my name is Dedee and I'm an alcoholic, right? Look, it's even hard to say it now. And it comes from all the loaded crap that comes with saying those words that society put on us.
Cause it's, none of it is true, but we swallowed it.
But the
first time I stood up, up and I go, hi, I'm Dedee and I'm on call. I was like, I kind of was talking, I said it and I was still going up and down. My, my friends, my rehab, we're like, I was thinking, and I looked over the person next to me, tears came down my eyes.
And each time I did it, it became a little easier, a
little
easier. And then what I realized was I started to look at the room and all the people that were salt and peppered in the room that were from my rehab, I noticed they had light, they had light around their heads and there was dark around everybody else.
It's almost like a gray room, but everyone in my rehab had light around them. And I realized they're my babies. They're my peeps. And I'm going to fight for them. And there's, you know, all of a sudden I got this real, like, I need to fight for us. And I started to slowly realize how we are in lockdown, as in, in our addictions, because of this old narrative, the old information, the old stigma that still surrounds it.
And it was this turn that happened, And I'll actually, I'll tell you when it, when it was, I said to my manager, I think I need to do like an interview when I come get out, I think I need to really come out and own this and help others on a larger scale than just at these meetings or one on one, like podcasts or whatever.
And I had an old friend who I'm not going to say who it is said to me, are you sure you want to do that? And I said, this is a normie. I might add, well, actually, no, I'm not going to separate them. This person could use. A little help. Anyways, as somebody I used to date and we used to ...
[00:54:55] Heather Lowe: Send him my way.
[00:54:56] Dedee Pheiffer: And I said, excuse me.
And you were like, are you sure you want to come out and tell everybody? And at that moment, I realized, oh, now I have to, because of what you just said and your reaction. Because all I heard in that was, You're going to shoot yourself in the foot.
[00:55:15] Heather Lowe: Keep hiding and keep hiding their shame.
[00:55:18] Dedee Pheiffer: And I went, Oh, hell no.
And it was a combination of a few things, my protectiveness over my community and my peeps and, and our suffering for no reason other than for some damn reason, someone decided that if you have an addiction, that you don't have a disease because you know, people think literally, why can't she just stop?
Why can't he just stop? Cause that would make us the normie.
[00:55:44] Heather Lowe: And that you can ask for help for anything in the world, except for this.
[00:55:48] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah. And all of a sudden, yeah, the buck stops here. And all of a sudden I got real like, Oh, hell no. So it kind of just rolled, steamrolled, but I'm not going to say that I didn't.
The first time I mentioned it in an interview, I was doing Big Sky and I was in a zoom call up in Canada. We were in quarantine. Thank you, pandemic. And I remember the first time I started talking about it, it was really scary. And then it just got slowly got easier. Yeah. And. My family was very taken back that I was like, Oh, it's kind of like coming out when you're from the LGBTQ community and you're like, I'm loud and proud.
I ain't apologizing. I said, why would this be any different? Actually, people are dying. Yeah, from this disease. Nobody chooses to have a disease, anymore than someone chooses to get cancer, it's not a choice. There's a big problem. I have, there's still an old way of thinking that it's a choice. And it's not a choice.
I would never choose this. You would never choose this. No one I know would choose to have an addiction of any sort. I don't care what the addiction is, right? Um, because it ruins, it ruins relationships and a lot of things, but then the rebirth is beautiful. Um, there's no doubt about that, but wouldn't it be nice to get here without all that?
Um, but that wasn't my journey and that's okay. . My journey has become a bigger thing than just being an actor, or just being a sober woman, or a single parent, or, you know, an environmentalist, or trying, um, being mindful of it. You know, it's more than all of that. You know, I know my purpose in life.
I know there's a purpose for my soul in my body in this lifetime. And my sobriety helped me get there. It's to help at least one person a day, if I can, whether it's talking to someone at the grocery store. You know, using that name tag, Mary. They're like, how are you? I'm like, I'm good, Mary. How are you? And they're like, well, how'd she know my name?
I said, your name tag, honey. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because Mary, no one talks to Mary at the grocery store.
[00:57:45] Heather Lowe: They're like, look, Mary, I don't need any bags.
[00:57:47] Dedee Pheiffer: you know, I don't. Look at me. Do I look like a woman who wants your bag? No.
[00:57:51] Heather Lowe: Yeah. I love it. Sobriety is a portal. It is absolutely a portal.
[00:57:56] Dedee Pheiffer: I'm gonna steal that.
I mean, I still remember.
[00:57:57] Heather Lowe: It's a zinger. You heard it here from Heather Lowe.
[00:58:00] Dedee Pheiffer: It is a portal. It is a portal. And I believe in portals anyways. I'm totally into the paranormal supernatural. Which is another element of like my recovery. I went to New Mexico. I lived there for a year. I'm
Big sky. You don't think I'm not in a supernatural paranormal after my friend Kenny coming to me and then living in New Mexico for a year? Oh honey, you really need to watch Gaia. Watch Gaia.
[00:58:19] Heather Lowe: Oh yeah. Yeah.
[00:58:21] Dedee Pheiffer: Yeah. I'm not sure. I love Gaia. Gaia is my, um, home base. I, yeah. And then, um, Secrets of Skinwalker Ranch, because they're using a scientific method to do something that's really difficult to do.
And yeah. Um, so again, I just feel like at 60 years old, I'm, I'm not, I'm still learning. I'm still curious. Yeah. R your belief is, where your soul goes to when your earth body is left behind is completely a very individual, well, right to have. And me knowing that this soul, your soul, I believe, my belief is that our souls are energy, man, we're stardust, we came from, you know, we came from something.
Pretty, pretty amazing. I'm not quite sure yet. I'm not really quite sure, but I love the ideas of people coming up with hypotheses, whether maybe it's the big bang, maybe it's like, Hey, yeah, maybe why let's go there for a minute. Maybe the Bible was right about giants being real. We've got some skeletons that are like 10 feet tall.
Yeah. What was a real giant, you know, um, but just be curious. No, with no judgment. And the thing is, is that as long as you have your soul has a vehicle, the body to, to make a difference in this world, this lifetime, I say, go for it, man. Go for it. Go. Why not? Right? Take advantage of your body, which is the vehicle for your soul to make a difference.
Especially now, I think our world and our planet and especially our country, actually all countries, we need a lot of love and compassion right now, more than ever, a lot of change going on. And if we've ever needed to bond, it's now. And that includes with animals. Yeah, for sure.
[01:00:08] Heather Lowe: I'm with you. Thank you, Dedee.
Thank you for your beautiful message. Thank you for being willing to share it out loud. Thank you for saying yes to this podcast before it ever even aired. I appreciate you so much.
[01:00:19] Dedee Pheiffer: Thank
you.
I
appreciate you too, Heather.
[01:00:21] Heather Lowe: and that's a wrap for today's episode of the Peripeteia podcast, a talk show for women.
The Peripeteia podcast is sponsored by Sunnyside. I could not ask for a better partner. Thanks, Sunnyside!
Join us in the insider community with a seven day free trial to continue the conversation at ditchedthedrink. com. And don't forget to download my free ebook, The 12 Truths to change your life. Do it for the plot. \ , We'll see you in the next episode. Lots of love. .
