Sobriety is a Lifestyle Choice
Apr 21, 2020
Sobriety is a lifestyle and it’s the one I’ve always wanted.
Rosé all day is a lifestyle too and it made me miserable.
As a drinker, I loved any occasion to make my drinking feel normal.
I loved when other people drank with me.
I loved when other people started the drinking, so it didn’t have to be me.
I loved weekends, holidays, events and occasions where I could start drinking earlier in the day.
I drank fast and furious.
I always wanted more.
It didn’t hit fast enough and then it hit all at once.
I drank alone like this too, but it felt better when there were others doing it with me.
I could not hang, so I often passed out hours before the party ended.
The drinking lifestyle started out with all the best intentions.
Wine at playdates.
Day drinking by the pool on a holiday weekend.
A crisp glass of white in the sun chatting on the phone before the kids came home.
The drinking lifestyle ended with absolute exhaustion.
Waking up every day to wait and see how bad I felt.
Dragging myself out of bed.
Crawling back into bed when I could.
Anxiety and panic when driving or left alone with my thoughts for too long.
Eating garbage food to cure my hangovers.
Using exercise as punishment, trying to sweat out my sins with the toxins from the night before.
Secrets, hiding, shame.
Desperately seeking approval from others to prove that I am ok.
Comparison, jealousy, and so much anger.
Feeling broken and blaming others for it.
Looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself.
So much sadness.
So much grief.
Overwhelming pain and suffering.
The feeling of being in quicksand, not being able to get out.
Suffocating.
Fear.
Mostly fear of not enough.
I am not enough.
And there is not enough wine to drown this feeling out.
I need more, more, more.
I blame everyone for not giving me what I need.
The drinking life was not the pretty life that was sold to me.
It was a life of being at war with myself.
Sober is a lifestyle too.
It’s happily greeting the day in early mornings for quiet reflection before anyone else wakes up.
It’s an inner peace and calm.
It’s clean sheets and warm mugs of cinnamon tea.
It’s a creative mind that doesn’t run out of ideas.
It’s trying new things, learning new things, and exceeding my wildest expectations.
It's brave, confident, and bold.
It’s reading books, watching movies, listening to music
It is always remembering the endings.
It is easily walking away from situations and people that are not meant for me, instead of gripping to things that never really worked.
It’s listening to my body’s signals and trusting myself.
It’s spending time in nature and noticing the little things.
It is knowing that I am part of something bigger, and feeling connected to my spirit.
It is crying when I feel like crying, instead of telling myself to shut up, stop it.
I allow myself to release emotions instead of stuffing them down.
I have become my own best friend through sobriety.
I do not need the approval of others anymore, I only need the approval of myself.
Alcohol marketing shows us the good life means having a glass of alcohol in hand.
Pink wine really does look pretty in the sun on a boat.
Red wine looks nice on a dark and rustic dining table and I love steak, garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus too.
Alcohol marketing sets a nice scene.
I want relief from uncomfortable feelings.
I want something to take the edge off of my anxiety and perfectionism.
I want to relax.
I want to be a more chill mom and a fun co worker.
In my experience however, alcohol didn’t take away my problems.
Alcohol always added more, until it became the biggest problem I had.
I still enjoy a crisp, pink, drink in the sun on a boat with friends.
I still love going out for a fancy steakhouse dinner.
I have found ways to move through uncomfortable feelings.
I am learning to manage perfectionism.
I am a more relaxed and chill mom now that I am sober.
I am twice as much fun without alcohol too.
My wit is wittier.
No one has to worry about me going over the edge.
I am more confident.
I dance more, think more, and share more.
If you crave the healthy, peaceful life and alcohol is standing in your way, I can help you get out of the trap of alcohol.
An alcohol free life is a life of fun and freedom.
Sobriety is not at all the dark, depressing place I thought it would be when I first ditched the drink.
