My First Drink on (Alcohol Free) Vacation

We arrive in Cabo.

We walk off the plane, down the steps, into the Mexican earth.

The kids and I feel like we are getting off of Air Force One and wave to the mountains, as if it they are our adoring audience. 

The process of getting into another country is stressful, even as a visitor.

There’s forms to fill out and never enough pens.

There's too many germs.

There's confusing repeat questions.

The airport is full of tired travelers, crying babies, and not enough air flow.

My main goal in these situations is to exercise my strong project management skills.

Most strangers aren't getting with my program and have not received my mental memo.

This arrival feels a bit more intense because of COVID.

I had more than usual big emotions, because I recently finished a book called, American Dirt. American Dirt is a story about a Mexican woman who had to leave behind her life and escape as an undocumented immigrant into the US. (highly recommend)

Anywho...I was feeling twitchy, tense, uptight, and protective. 

By the time we get our luggage, (including hubby's golf clubs),

it felt like a Hallelujah moment! 

We head outside to get transportation, which is our final task at the airport. 

When we find our pre arranged transportation company sign, it feels like we survived the obstacle course, crossed the finish line, and the war is over.

I am being dramatic, but it feels like we made it. 

Our driver tells us to relax, we are in the right spot, they have our names, our car isnt’ here yet and it will be a short wait. 

I take a breath.

The view is gorgeous.

There are glorious mountains in Cabo.

It feels familiar and like home to me.

It reminds me of where my parents live, in Colorado.

It also feels completely foreign and exotic, because I know the ocean is near, and I live smack dab in the Midwest.

And it feels like, I want a drink. 

I am looking at the outdoor bar buzzing with excitement. 

We made it to Mexico, a trip that has been years in the making.

I am so happy and I want a drink. 

I always want a drink upon arrival.

I always have. 

As a drinker, I suppose I wanted the punch of alcohol. 

Getting a drink also symbolizes ARRIVAL to me. 

I want to commence it. 

Last time I was in Cabo in 2017, if you recall, I was a few shaky months sober. I arrived  with all my husband’s co-workers and not my husband, who would be meeting us later at the resort.

I ended up drinking alcohol on the vacation, you can read about it here, Cabo 2017.

(I ended up drinking alcohol on this vacation too with a completely different ending that I'll share in my next blog post)

My first win on the 2017 Cabo trip however, was getting a water while everyone else got tequila upon arrival at this exact outdoor airport bar.

I am determined to get a drink this time too.

I want something to sip as we make our bumpy way to the resort.

I want to enjoy the ride.

I want to declare vacation begins.

I know there is a lot to go through still with an hour long drive.

We might travel on gravel roads.

There might be a long check in process at the resort.

I want to make the process of getting there as fun, festive, and relaxed as possible.

A drink will do this for me.

It turns the final ride (with potential for car sickness) into an adventure. 

I decide I am definitely going to act on this impulse and get a drink.

I ask if my family wants one and they say no, as I expected.

They are hot, annoyed, impatient.

I assume this has everything to do with me, the Project Manager (PM).

I assume my husband thinks the same and also that it’s stupid to spend too much money on an airport drink.

He would never do this.

I assume my kids think I am a drunk even though I don’t drink anymore, because my enthusiasm for drinks is always a bit much.

I start to question myself and self doubt kicks in.

Do I really need to be so high maintenance?

Do I really need a drink right now?

I don't even actually drink.

Do I have any chill?

I look at the bar.

People are getting drinks.

Getting a Corona beer, or a tequila drink feels normal. 

Expected.

Par for the course.

Part of the experience. 

No question.

Wanting a club soda with lime so bad you can taste it feels fussy.

I push through and march up to the bar anyway.

I decide IDGAF, if you know what I mean.

I ask the bartender for a non alcoholic drink.

We have a language barrier but he is immediately into my request, smiling,

"Si! Si! Senorita!" he says.

"Gracias, gracias, por favor, los siento!"

I respond with every Spanish term I know, including an apology, because of course. 

There's immediate gratitude and relief from me.

I squeal out loud. 

Maybe people start to gather around and notice a little bit?

Or maybe I am the star of my own movie and making this up in my head a little bit?

I can't tell. 

We start mixing flavors together.

How about some grapefruit? Yes.

And lime? Yes.

And OMG they have Topo Chico!

My fav!

Fill it up with Topo Chico.

A splash of pineapple, por favor.

Maybe a dash of salt. Yes please. That too.

Definitely a garnish.

Lemon or lime? 

Yes, both. 

One of each.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!

High five!

He doesn’t overcharge me.

We are friends.

We have so much fun making my drink.

It is absolutely gorgeous.

The prettiest drink I've ever seen. 

My favorite color, light pink!

It tastes delicious!

Refreshing and tart!

We are cheering each other for our co creation.

I turn around and head back to my family.

I expect them to be rolling their eyes with hanging their head in shame about me.

Or maybe paying no attention at all to me, the obnoxious, scene stealing Mom.

I look up and all three pairs of eyes are on me.

They are watching me and they have been smiling at me behind my back.

Beaming actually. 

Every single one of them. 

They have ear to ear cartoon smiles with hearts and stars coming out of their eyes.

They are proud of me.

They know me and they love me.

I am free to be me.

I feel so much better now to wait for our ride.

I beam back at them.

I am settled.

My teenage daughter’s change their minds, get into the excitement, and go ask for a drink too. 

They come back happy.

They want to document it.

Yes they will take a picture of me and my drink. 

They snap a pic and tell me that I will hate it.

They know I will because I am not wearing any makeup. 

I am exhausted from travel, I've had a mask on for hours and hours.

I've been wearing a hat all day. 

For some reason my one boob looks oversized.

They show me the pic and although of course I hate it, I decide to love it because I am so freaking happy in this moment, and everything is perfect.

This is the best possible start to our vacation.

We are all happy now and excited instead of tired, thirsty, and stressed.

And that's the end of this story.

Part of ditching the drink for me has been to tune into what I need, despite what I think others think.

When I was drinking I was always telling myself I was wrong.

I shouldn’t feel the way I feel.

I shouldn’t need the things I need. 

Now I recognize that.

Many of my thoughts aren’t even true. 

In this case, I would say...

“you don’t need an airport drink. It’s expensive. You’re high maintenance. Your husband and kids think you’re annoying. Why do you have to do this? You’re making a scene. It’s a bar. You don’t speak the language fluently. They only have tequila or cerveza. Why do you need special treatment?” and on and on.

I realized now that my family doesn’t have to want a drink, for me to want a drink.

I want a drink! 

I can get a drink. 

I can afford a drink. 

A drink in this moment is important to me. 

It doesn’t have to be important to them. 

It sets the tone for me.

I also crave connection.

The bartender and I connected. 

Who knows his story?

Why would I assume he doesn't want to make me an alcohol free drink? 

He was happy to make a new drink for me and we had fun doing it. 

The lesson in this story is that you don’t have to believe everything you think. 

Your assumptions might be wrong. 

You are allowed to your own thoughts, opinions, feelings, and needs.

It is up to you to meet them.

No one else has to agree with the way you do it. 

This has been a work in progress for me, as a recovering people pleaser.

I have had to work as hard, on tuning into myself despite my thoughts about what others might think, as I have had to work on, not drinking alcohol. 

Is it this way for you too?

Reach out if I can help.

You can beam with happiness after procuring an alcohol free drink in a foreign land too.

Alcohol never made me as happy as sobriety does.

FREE Sober Secrets Guide, link in profile.