No, I Don't Want Red Wine: Choosing Sobriety in a Culture of Drinking
Sep 11, 2024
I spent the weekend at Sober in the City, Seattle. I was the weekend MC and I hosted a Thought Leadership Collaborative. Working for myself from home has so many perks, but it does get lonely, so I cherish the pockets of time when I can be gathered in real life with clients, peers, and friends.I look forward to the next one already (spoiler alert Scottsdale in May 2025 and there will be a few exclusive opportunities for Insider Members only).
There is something different about the energy when we are gathered in real life. I encourage you to start with my free Insider Trial. There were about 10 Insider members in attendance and they all said it was so much easier to attend knowing some familiar faces from our calls would be there to greet them.
I was sitting at the airport Sunday on my way home, feeling overstimulated from the intensity of all the learning, connecting, traveling, and people-ing, so I ducked into a dark bar for some quiet time instead of waiting at my overcrowded gate. Almost everything on the menu was out of stock, so I ended up ordering a bowl of clam chowder, truffle fries, and a diet Pepsi.
Remember this blog? So what if it's a Pepsi?
I was texting and reconnecting with my family, finally able to catch a breath for the first time since I left days ago. My coaching is completely confidential and most of my clients are really private about that. (I was too and I respect that.) However, I also have a handful of clients that are out loud about our coaching relationship and have shared it themselves. They have given me permission to share too. I love this because I really want to share everyone's success story. I think they are all so beautiful, so I love it when someone is comfortable with that.
I was sending my family an update on the weekend and I included an approved picture of my clients' and me from Saturday night. There we were in our fancy outfits, gathered together, linking arms under a balloon arch, smiling for the camera before we hit the dance floor. One Insider has a glass of Joyus wine in her hand. I freaking love it. Another member's head is almost on my shoulder. Perfection.
I reflected back to when I Ditched the Drink. I wanted to help women like me. I had no idea if anyone would come or if I would be able to achieve this, but there it was—proof. In our smiles, our collective sobriety, our connection, our strength and our inner knowing. I was struck with pride that I have done what I set out to do 5+ years ago. I have helped (and continue to help) women like me ditch the drink. I burst into tears in that airport bar. I cry just thinking of it now.
I haven't just helped people; I have created a community of people that help people. This community of course also helps me.
I know I do this every day as I sit across the zoom screen and guide women from planning their first evening without wine, to recognizing the negative self-talk and calling it out, to creating space to shift a long held belief about something, to inviting a new idea... but to see it there in a picture is such tangible proof of the connection we created together that it brought me to tears of joy and pride.
Meanwhile, the waiter sets the most pungent glass of red wine in front of me.
"Red wine for you, Ma'am." He proudly says.
"No!" I respond.
"Yes, you got the red wine." he forces.
"No," I repeat.
He looks at his ticket "You want the red wine?" again he demands.
"Nope." I confirm.
"Oh this guy gets the wine, you got the Pepsi?" he finally gathers as he sets the wine on the table next to me.
"Yes" I say.
"I was trying to get you to drink the alcohol" he laughs "you don't want it?"
"No, I don't want it" I say with a smile.
