Pre Vacation Vibes, Alcohol Free, Sober Mindset

My #1 question this week is, "How was your vacation?”

Thank you for your interest and curiosity!

Normally, I share all my comings and goings in real time on Instagram so my followers can literally follow right along with me. I haven't done that for this vacation, so it's no wonder people are curious to know how it went. 

I am typically an oversharer. I like expressing myself and letting people in.   

In this moment however, I have taken a social media break, and it is uncharacteristically taking me longer to share this vacation in a blog post too. 

I have written many blogs (1, 2, 3, 4) about past vacations.

I suggest reading them all (of course) to get the breadth and depth of my past vacation experiences, and how it has changed over time.

I love to provide encouragement, inspiration, and support to others going on alcohol-free vacations. 

Here’s a few thoughts on why it might be taking me so long to share this vacation. 

I have been incredibly busy upon my return, but we know busy is also just a set of priorities. 

There is a piece of me that is holding this vacation close. 

I have a part of me that isn’t sure which parts to share and which parts to keep for myself. 

I think this is a perfect example of where I am at with my relationship to social media. 

This post about my relationships with social media felt more urgent to post than a vacation post when I got back and realized I was not immediately jumping back to Instagramming.

When I started Ditched the Drink on Instagram, I was thrilled anyone followed me and I wanted to share everything. This is my nature. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am a (mostly) open book. 

As my following has grown, I am starting to feel a little more protective of myself. 

I was recognized when shopping the other day. 

This is so flattering! A real “pinch me” moment. I can’t stop smiling about it! 

This particular follower is absolutely wonderful, but obviously not everyone likes me and not even all my followers like me. 

I like to be liked! 

Don’t we all?

When I open myself up for love and admiration from the outside world, I am also becoming more vulnerable to judgment, critique, and more. I am recovering from people pleasing and perfectionism, so this is both a challenge and an opportunity for me.  

My circle has grown, I am so grateful. 

Thank YOU for being here. 

I want to be really thoughtful and intentional about what I am sharing. 

I feel more pressure to say the “right things”. 

I am someone who oftens speaks first and thinks later. 

I have been called a “blurter”. 

I think this means that I say stuff out loud. I am not sure I want it all taken seriously or if I even mean it all or if it is taken out of context what that will it mean? I process out loud.

Sometimes I say stuff in a moment and later change my mind.

Sometimes words don’t do justice. 

Sometimes there are no words. 

Sometimes language is limited. 

And Lord help me, sometimes I say the wrong thing!

Ironically, I am part of a research study suggesting people with an alcohol problem might be people with an impulse control problem.

“Hello, Me!” I says to myself. 

I am partnering with others, so what I say can be a reflection of them. I want to be a thoughtful and introspective partner.  

I have always been mindful about my friends and family when sharing, but now it feels even more important.  

It is my choice to share my story, but it becomes a bigger thing when there is a bigger audience. 

I think authoring a book is in my future. 

I want to get comfortable with having my story and words out. 

They are permanent when they are documented like this. 

It feels like a big deal, because I really do care a lot. 

When I watched The Friends Reunion I thought, how cool to be the writers so you can be part of this big thing and yet walk around more anonymously than the actors and actresses like Rachel/Jennifer and Monica/Michelle, who get recognized wherever they go. I bet no one else had this thought. What a unique take away for me! 

I want fame and fortune and I am scared of fame and fortune, ok?!

Clear as mud. Manifesting now.

All this to say, I am evolving, 

My personal ditch the drink story evolves too. 

My Ditched the Drink Business is evolving too.

I will continue to be as honest as I can be.
I will continue to practice self care, boundaries, and honesty. 

This is what I teach, so this is what I must model for you.

I am an imperfect work in progress.

I will tell you one thing that I know for sure, and that is that I hate to be shushed. 

I won’t be shushing myself and I will continue to share. 

Connection helps others. Connection and expression help me too. 

So here I go, continuing to grow into myself and sharing of myself and also keeping in check with myself about what feels right and appropriate for me at this moment. 

Thank you for listening and having compassionate ears to hear and empathetic eyes to read. 

Let’s get into it. 

The first thing I noticed about this vacation was that as my client’s started asking me about it when we were rescheduling for my week off, I realized I didn't have a thought about alcohol.

I didn’t think about alcohol at all while planning.

Alcohol literally played no part in the anticipation for this vacation. 

We were going to Cabo, a place I had drank after months of sobriety in 2017.

We were staying at an All Inclusive Hard Rock Resort.

We stayed at a Hard Rock All Inclusive, which was my first sober all inclusive, in Riviera Maya in 2019.

Some things were familiar to me, and I knew what to expect. 

Alcohol is no longer in my daily thoughts.  

It’s been 3 ½ years since my last Day 1. 

I had 3 years of sober curiosity and experimenting before last Day 1.

That’s 6 1/2 years of sober practice under my belt. 

I have been either sober, or working towards sobriety, for longer than the years that alcohol was a real obvious problem for me. 

My new norm is to never think about my personal alcohol consumption, craving, or desire. 

Not only do I not drink, I don’t desire to drink.

This was always my goal.

Now, I have indeed arrived!

Hallelujah!

You can have this too if this is what you want.

(I can help! Start by scheduling your Complimentary Call)

I don’t want to drink alcohol. 

I am not missing out. 

I know what alcohol does to me and I don’t want it. 

Newbies, no worries if you don’t feel this way yet.

It takes a long time. 

Change is slow and hard, remember?

I didn’t always feel this way. 

In the beginning I knew I “couldn’t drink” I was “trying not to drink”.

I “wanted a drink but I couldn’t have one”, and other thoughts like that. 

I didn’t want to be called an alcoholic. That would have felt so hurtful in the beginning. 

Now, I’m like so what?!  If calling me an alcoholic makes it easier for you to understand why I don’t drink, call me what you want. Shut up about the drinks already! Give me my club soda and let’s move on! 

I don’t call myself an alcoholic, but yes, surely I am an alcoholic. 

Even this statement can’t hurt me anymore. 

I accept that I have a problem with my reaction to a alcohol which is an addictive substance.

I no longer consume that substance, and it’s no longer a problem for me. 

I’m a warrior. I have recovered. I’m a badass. I am a happy, healthy, successful, clear minded, goal setter. I am capable of change. That's what it means to be to be a "recovered alcoholic". 

I think it's the most amazing thing in the world and I am more proud to be sober than anything else in my life. 

I no longer carry shame with it. 

Regardless of the words, I don’t drink, and I don't want to drink.

I am not ashamed of not drinking.

I am very proud of the person I have become. 

This is the approach and perspective I live with everyday. 

It doesn’t change when I am headed on vacation. 

Alcohol used to consume every thought.

I had compulsive thinking about drinking, which is the start of any addiction.

If this is where you are, I get you. I was there too. 

I am not there now.

I think my new perspective, thoughts, and emotions about alcohol have everything to do with having just returned from the best vacation of my life, no alcohol included. 

What a relief to no longer think about alcohol, even when preparing for an all inclusive beach vacation at the Hard Rock Resort. 

I am coming from a place of choice, strength, pride, and health. 

I have practice under my belt.

My normal routine is not drinking.

I have been on sober vacations before. 

That being said, when we walked off the plane and into the Mexican sun and I saw the palm trees and mountains, when I breathed that hot air, I wanted a drink immediately. 

And I got one. 

To be continued...