Sobriety and Self-Discovery: How Coaching Can Transform Your Relationship with Alcohol
Mar 21, 2024
I want to be frank with you. There is no award to be won for being alcohol-free with the least amount of support possible. I know that's how we all try to do it. Me too. Like a middle schooler waiting for the bus in 30 degree weather with no jacket. We’re the cool kids. We’re good. We don’t need a coat. We’re strong, independent women. We don’t want any help. We got it. We GOT it okay?! Now leave us alone.
Except, sister, you don’t really get it. You keep trying to get it. You start with the easiest possible way to do it. A way to attempt without fail. A way to try without overcommitting. You’re smart like that. I get it. So you try a short challenge. A free 5-day fix. And maybe you succeed, or maybe you say that was so dramatic. You forgot about the book club on Tuesday, so you’ll just drink on day 3 of the 5-day challenge. It was free. You tried. Who cares?
Success! 3 days alcohol-free. Then it’s back to the routine. In a few weeks, the drinking ramps up and reminds you that you really want to do something about this, so you try again. You sign up for another free online challenge with another so-called expert person. You do nothing different, but I hope this time it works. Fingers crossed, and you’re hungover anyway, so maybe today will be easier not to drink. And it "works," or it doesn’t. You go a few days alcohol-free, or you don’t. This is good. This is a start. I am proud of you for trying new things. Really, I am. You are working toward healthier living.
Many women who come to me for support have done other programs first. This is good. As a coach, I would call this going from pre contemplation to contemplation. These are stepping stones on the way to change. I celebrate this. This is not a failure! This is trying. Trying is not failing. Not trying is the ultimate failure.
These women have had varying degrees of success during those programs and have found themselves again in need of support. Their concern is getting a bit more serious, and their desire for something different is getting stronger.
This is where the value of 1x1 coaching support lies. By leveraging coaching, you can achieve and maintain sobriety. Most people that start with me stay with me for quite some time, making openings for new people rare. What? You don’t fix them on the first try, you say. No, quite the opposite. I don’t fix them.
They begin to heal from the inside out. It’s not a surface-quick fix. Sure, there are some tried-and-true tricks and tips to get a few days and weeks under your belt when it comes to ditching the drink. Of course, I spend everything in my pocket sharing these with each client. But of course they know themselves better than I do, so together we curate a customized plan for early success in gaining freedom from alcohol. To sustain living an alcohol-free life, though, there is more to it than the 12 Sober Secrets you can download in my free guide right now.
The real secret ingredient here is a relationship with me, a certified coach, that develops over time. This creates a trusted witness whom you can be honest with. Within the safety of this relationship, you can start to open in ways you were previously closed. You can start to be honest with yourself when you know you will be received with love and understanding. Not the current shame and judgment you have been giving yourself. Its not working, and you are not going to heal yourself with your own clouded thinking when it comes to alcohol. I am sorry to tell you this, babe.
I provide a model of self-compassion. I give you permission to learn how to take care of yourself, and then you do it. Next, you start to give yourself permission. Someday in your future, you will realize you don’t need permission. It was yours all along. Then you start to see if you can change your drinking and the way you talk to yourself in your own head. What else could you change? What more could you want? You start to see that you can have that too. These women stay with me because it’s working, and if its working, they want to keep doing it, not stop doing it. They want to continue to heal and grow in ways that weren’t possible when they were on an island talking to themselves in their own heads about their alcohol problem while drinking, trying to drum up the solution on their own. It just doesn’t work that way, and its not the most enjoyable way to travel either.
It starts with investing in yourself. You are worth it. It’s your most important job on earth to take care of yourself. This is the path. Once you learn who you are and what you want, you can listen to your intuition and let it guide you. You have to get to know yourself first. You have to stop pouring alcohol on yourself to do it. We all have limited time here on earth. Each day can feel more urgent. You don’t want to leave your life unlived. That was my biggest fear. I am not Tony Robbins screaming from a stage or breaking wood with my hands, but I am living out my wildest dreams right now. You can too. It’s not too woo. It’s not too much to ask. It might be much simpler than you think. My clients are doing it. They are also not chopping wood with bare hands, but they are tuning in and taking care of themselves. They are making subtle shifts in the way they show up for their spouses, their parents, their kids, and themselves. It is changing everything. It is improving my life by leaps and bounds. They are finding joy and allowing themselves to relish in it.
They are noticing when their dog is at their feet, their sheets are clean, they hear a new song they love, and they have connected with kindness throughout their day. They feel content with the life they already have. You can’t see this when you are buzzed or hungover. You can’t notice the way the sun hits, the sound of your daughter singing in the shower, or the single blade of grass against the breeze. Miracles are all around you, and you are diluting them with your drinking.
The price is nothing for a path to an awakened life. There are no awards for getting the least amount of support. Try getting the most amount of support. Try spoiling yourself sober. Try pulling out every comfort measure of rewards, coaching, and community.
See what that does for you. Eventually, clients go a bit farther between sessions and check-ins, opening spaces for new folks to come in.
I am accepting two new clients in April; your complimentary call awaits. BOOK HERE. You can get free from alcohol and transform your life by using a guide to alcohol-free living. Unlock your sober potential.
Free Trial of Insider Membership with an upcoming workshop on the Four Agreements HERE. Replay available. This will support your journey towards an alcohol-free lifestyle.
